My friend got into the New York City cab. She asked the driver how he was doing. He wished her a Happy Mother's Day to which she replied, "I am not a mother."

"All women are mothers," he said. "When you got into the cab you asked how I was. That is something a mother does. In my country, all women are mothers."

If you are a female in the USA you were socialized to be a caretaker--of everyone but you. While watching out for the best interests of the rest of the world is the "right" thing for a woman to do, taking care of yourself is called "selfish." Women who do meet their own needs wind up on a guilt trip imposed by the very people for whom they so diligently care 24/7/365.

Why is that a problem? Besides all the obvious consequences like lowering self esteem and creating a negative image complete with programs in the subconscious that maintain a woman's lower place in the family hierarchy, the buried resentments, the unbirthed ideas and the lack of self nurturing lead to chronic and fatal health conditions.

In the past week I learned that three of my female friends have cancer. Okay, in our polluted environment 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women get that diagnosis. But here is what you need to know, my female friend.

Cancer is the effect, the result, the outward manifestation for the cause, the files in the subconscious mind labeled "self destruction." More to the point, you surely noticed the rise in female cancers. Breast cancer is about not nurturing oneself. Uterine and ovarian cancers are about not giving birth to one's own creations for oneself. Bone cancer envelops such a strong resentment that the person prefers self destructing to changing those horrible feelings toward others. Specifically, spinal cancers, depending on the exact vertebra, reveal an unwillingness to love oneself.

Where else does all that anger go? Liver cancer reveals the pent up anger and rage of self neglect. How many women do you know who suffer or survived any of those forms of cancer?

Stops you in your tracks, doesn't it? The body simply reflects your personal messages. God speaks to you in whispers--unless you fail to notice or disregard the quiet invitations to wake up. When you miss the soft messages then the Universe gets louder until you reach the point of disease--painful, debilitating, disfiguring or even fatal disease.

Women, you teach those in your world how to treat you treat yourself. You model the behaviors for them follow. Your silent acceptance, your allowing them to treat or mistreat you furthers that training. What behaviors do you outwardly accept from others when inside you feel your wrath tying your stomach in knots?
Time to wake up and realize no one can do anything to you unless you allow it to happen. No one can hurt you or your feelings unless you fail to speak up, to take responsibility for how you feel about how others treat you.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You cannot keep a good man down without his permission." The same sentiment applies to you. You alone get to choose. Take charge of your well being before you lose the chance to take care of YOU.

Remember, if you are female in America you will always be looked to and looked upon as a mother--no matter how high up that corporate ladder you climb. Make sure the mother in you has a life of her own, time for fulfilling your own heart's desires. If for no other reason, do it for the young women growing up today. They will model who you are being in life.

What one thing do you wish to accomplish during your life time? Who do you have to be to make that happen? What kind of actions will you need to take? How would your life be different if you accomplished that dream? What if you never lived that reality? Would you still feel like your life was successful and worth living?

In part 2 of this article you will discover what keeps you from living freely and fulfilling your own desires…and what to do to change that habit.

Ali Bierman, popular teacher, speaker and author, draws on her experiences as a psychotherapist and Specialized Kinesiologist to show people why their world looks like it does and what they can do to change it. In her live classes and online audio and video presentations